Facing Uncertainty
We live in unprecedented times of rapid change and uncertainty. Most of us, myself included, feel challenged in ways we haven’t before. Greene Roshi has said the conditions we’re training in – in the world around us – are beginning to rival the harsh monastery conditions faced by our Zen ancestors. There’s increasingly polarization with us-versus-them thinking – such that we may not even talk to some friends or family members anymore. We’re increasingly disconnected, even though we’re more connected through apps and mobile phones. We seem to have replaced content for connection – and somehow an Instagram feed can’t satisfy in the same way a conversation does. The pace of life and scale of our problems only seems to be increasing.
We need to train to see through the noise. To find our own center and our own way. To not completely unravel or disengage. But, how do we stay engaged?
Tesshu scroll
For me, it’s helpful to recognize that we’re all suffering and just name different reasons why. It’s a commonality between us all. It also feels important to recognize the temptation in my body to contract, pull inward, and withdraw. And, to notice when I do that, the light stops flowing. So, staying engaged and connected is important to staying human and letting the light shine. While more difficult to describe, my felt connection to the land and ancestors also feels more relevant than ever. Gazing at the mountains here in Alaska, mind clears and body grounds. The connection to something old helps bring me back to who I am.
I was talking to Kushner Roshi about all this and he reminded me of a poem from Yamaoka Tesshu that he has on the wall in his house (see left):
Good when clear
Good when cloudy
Mt Fuji’s
Original form
Never changes
The meaning is something like: What was true before is still true. But Tesshu’s not just talking about the mountain. He’s talking about what’s true in all of us.
When I became a team leader 6 months ago, it brought new challenges like managing others’ anxieties, as well as a painful awareness of when I’m not effectively managing my own. I was reflecting on how best to ground myself and take away fear as we faced into uncertainty. The question I was asking was “What is needed right now – for myself and others?” The first answer I got was Ah-Un breathing, which I began practicing daily. Then, I saw a moving video of Maori lawmakers performing the haka (ceremonial dance) in protest of the New Zealand Parliament, which helped me make a connection to the Nio guardians in our tradition, which I’ll describe more about.
When things go badly at work, people seem to enjoy sending around a popular internet meme of a dog sitting amidst flames and smoke. He’s drinking coffee and says: “This is fine.” It’s funny because he’s either trying to ignore the flames or has gotten used to them such that they don’t bother him anymore. We have another kind of meme that comes out of our Zen tradition: Fudo-Myo, the Immovable One (see below). He’s also sitting amidst flames, but his expression is different. He’s engaged and in relationship with the flames - definitely not oblivious to what’s happening. He’s got mean-looking fangs, a sword and a rope, and demonstrates a ferocious spirit. He’s an example of how we should train and stay engaged, even amidst adversity.
Fudo Myo-o (Immovable One) by Harada
Fudo-Myo is said to be related to Nio, the fierce guardians of wisdom who seem to universally stand guard at the entrance of Buddhist temples. Both are said to be manifestations of Vajrapani, the protector of the power of Buddha, as well as Kannon, the Bodhisattva of compassion, the “hearer of cries of world” who is often depicted in female form. In a blog from several years ago, Greene Roshi described the Nio Zen of Suzuki Shosan, a 17th century Zen Master that Tanouye Roshi spoke about. Essentially, Nio Zen was to embody the same fierce attention and kiai as demonstrated by the two figures. Greene Roshi said that he understood this to mean “the ability to sit facing impending disaster.”
Nio are depicted as two statues - though they represent one dynamic state (see below). One guardian has an open mouth as he inhales, “Ah.” The other has a closed mouth as he exhales, “Um.” Together, these sounds represent our first and last breaths and the beginning and the end of all things. This is known as A-Un (阿吽) in Japanese or the sacred syllable Om in Sanskrit. In Japanese, A-Un also has the connotation of harmony and reciprocity, e.g., an ah-un relationship where you communicate without words. When I was discussing Nio with Greene Roshi, he noted that the reason the statues are outside all temples is that they’re universal examples of how breath works on the human body – how the quality of breathing resolves duality and generates fearlessness.
To build fortitude, I’ve been doing Ah-Un breathing daily around the house and in the car on my way to work. In conversation with Ryan Roshi, I learned she was doing a daily hojo walk practice, which accompanies Ah-Un breathing. We decided to discuss and share these practices online together, and you can watch the video here. I invite you to try both practices and see what differences they make in your daily life.
Nio statues at Smithsonian Museum
